It seems that I’m not done with the infidelity theme.
A broad definition of the word “infidelity” might be unfaithfulness to a moral obligation.
There are the descriptions about being an infidel to religion, an infidel to marriage, or an infidel to whatever one might otherwise choose to exercise fidelity to. Infidelity is a term which is applicable to any number of breakable commitments, obligations, contracts, agreements, arrangements, trusts, and obligations.
The most basic type of infidelity, from which all other infidelities emerge, is that of being unfaithful to self and life purpose. One will recognize such infidelity as a pain, hollowness, and hunger in their being. This pain comes from a sense of separation from All, and from the traumas of living a life.
Below is a good explanation of how we lapse out of connection to self. I am borrowing this writing from the world wide web writings of September 27, which is when I posted the prior entry on Infidelity. So, this Journal may be titled Infidelity, Part II.
This Journal entry on Infidelity develops ideas about the self sabotage and self love themes.
The author of the following writing is offering good material for your consideration. You may enjoy his other writings, which I post with the writing.
I often use other peoples’ articles so that readers have the opportunity to visit good websites, and be so introduced to other thinkers. It is also reinforcing for my writing to offer the insights of others which are synergistic to my writing.
The title of this very clear little article is worded negatively, but don’t be daunted or misled by the word choice. Please read on….
The Five Ways You’ll Ruin Your Life Today
By Adam Alvarado, September 27, 2012, from www.MindBodyGreen.com
“If you do nothing to change your self, then you do nothing to improve your life, and so long as today’s inaction is the same as yesterday’s inaction, then life today – and every day after – will be much the same as those before.
And so, here are the 5 ways you’ll ruin your life today…
1. You’ll ruin your life in routine.
Most will spend today doing what they’ve always done…nothing. Nothing special, nothing different, nothing new. Because for most people, the older they get, the more routine their life becomes. And with every new responsibility they’re given, and duty they accept, and burden they shoulder, that part of their life that makes them feel alive dies.
But you have to have something to look forward to in life; something apart from the usual and routine. Something your own; something necessary less as a matter of duty, than as a matter of sanity.
Duty may be necessary. But routine will kill you.
2. You’ll ruin your life comparing.
Every person – in some way or some part – lives a life that is less than their ideal or perfected life. And in the many people we meet, or know, or know of, we find excuse to compare what they have to what we don’t, what they do to what we can’t, what they are to what we aren’t.
But in a life spent comparing, you will never match up. Because in a world of 6 billion there is always someone smarter, someone prettier, someone more gifted, someone with more.
But, in a world where your self is your responsibility, your concern, and your choice, there is no one better or more capable. And nothing else should matter.
The only life you own is your own.
3. You’ll ruin your life lying to yourself.
We consider ourselves good and honest people, and yet every day we lie to that person who should and ought to mean most – ourselves. We lie about what we can do and what we can’t; what we need and what we want; about what we are, and what we aren’t.
When you lie to your self, you harm your self. And what you let yourself believe is what will make or destroy your life.
4. You’ll ruin your life caring for the opinions of others.
The great majority of our lives, and so much of our thoughts and energy, is spent in consideration of or in deference to the opinions of others. On what they think, or say, or believe about us; in fear and dread of their truest opinions, and in hope and want of their approval and their validation – to the point where their opinion becomes our opinion, and where reality is no longer significant, and the truth no longer relevant.
Care for others, then, not for what they think of you. Care about others, not for what they say about you.
Cause to spend even a life pandering to the changing and irrelevant opinions of others is to waste yours on a battle you cannot win.
5. You’ll ruin your life giving into your lesser self.
Every day, in everything you do, you choose to live and be a certain way – a certain version of yourself. And with every problem encountered, and obstacle faced, and tragedy found, you choose how you will and should respond – how you will and should be.
Will you be bitter, angry, and petty? Will you speak ill of others and do wrong by others? Will you waste your life in sadness, and regret? Will you be weak?
Life is always and in all ways a challenge on your ability to be your better self. Be at all times, then, and at all costs, your best self.
It isn’t easy, and isn’t supposed to be. But anything less would be to ruin your life.”
About Adam Alvarado
Adam Alvarado is the founder of The Last Broken Home, where he writes about how the effects of our childhood and circumstances (our broken homes) create the challenging lives we lead, and how to change them.
More recommended readings from Adam Alvarado on the MindBodyGreen website:
Crestone and Beyond
Now, all you have to do is turn the words of the title of this article around into positive word abstractions, and start to apply a mindfulness based approach to how you want to establish your positive, purposeful, and loving relationship with self.
I think Alvarado’s 5 points about how we self sabotage our own life process can be studied and applied to anyone’s various types of infidelity concerns.
As mentioned at the end of the last Journal, the “Try more Love” approach is very helpful.
First, one must find and culture Love of one’s self, and then you have some Love to give away.
We cannot give away that which we do not own.
Signing off from Crestone and Beyond.
Wishing you the Best that Life and Love have to Offer….