This Journal considers the emotional states we call happiness and joy. We will consider what may be the difference between the 2 states, at least as expressed in some word abstractions we are familiar with.
In considering these terms with our thinking brain, it is good to remember that these states have to be lived through the heart, and thus, the entire body. Furthermore, happiness and joy flow into our lives from finer sources in the world of spirit.
I have grasped that much.
By way of a disclaimer, I am writing about this because I am still trying to figure it out in my thinking brain while I try to live these healthy happy states in my heart and body. For as long as spirit lives in this body, I have a chance to build more happiness and joy.
We use our thinking brain mind too much. We have been conditioned to do this. Our culture does not condition us to think, feel, and know through the heart. However, there are many people who live in happier and less complex cultures than that which our culture has become.
Much has been written in the lay literature about attaining a state of happiness as we journey along in this world of trials and tribulations. Happiness is a marker of health. Indeed, we often consider the terms “health and happiness” as being synonymous states.
For instance, here is a list of happiness practices that correlate with and engender health.
- Seeking quietude
- Savoring beauty
- Dispelling fear
- Revisiting play
- Deepening human connections
- Embracing gratitude
- Going outside and marveling at all aspects of nature’s beauty and wisdom
- Contemplating Divinity and where you may have experienced it today
One way to culture any of the healthy lifestyle heart based practices above is to just pick one and contemplate it for a day. And then, maybe stretch that contemplation and practice out for a week. As you do so, it will become more familiar to you. Your psyche will grow around it as it sinks from your consciousness into your subconsciousness. At this point the practice has a chance of becoming a habit.
While practicing these things to do, we might also consider some things not to do, such as these practices of the Finnish people.
The list of 8 health and happiness practices above and the Finnish psychologist did not include another helpful practice avenue to happiness…to forgo complaining.
And there was no mention of this very helpful happiness practice…gardening.
Indeed, the paths to happiness and health are many and varied.
Some Research
For the sake of clinical completeness, a look at some research on happiness is in order. The research presented here relates to how we relate to each other.
In 1938, Harvard researchers embarked on a decades-long study to find out what makes us happy in life. The researchers gathered health records from 724 participants from all over the world and asked detailed questions about their lives at two-year intervals. The most consistent finding learned through 85 years of study is: Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.
The No. 1 key to a happy life, say the researchers, is social fitness. To help us develop social fitness the authors encourage us to practice living along these lines:
- We tend to think that once we establish friendships and intimate relationships, they will take care of themselves. But our social life is a living system, and it needs exercise. Social fitness requires taking stock of our relationships, and being honest with ourselves about where we’re devoting our time and whether we are tending to the connections that help us thrive.
- Don’t be afraid to reach out to the people in your life. Whether it’s a thoughtful question or a moment of devoted attention, it’s never too late to deepen the connections that matter to you.
According to Robert Waldinger, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of The Good Life, there are 7 keystones for social support:
- Safety and security: Who would you call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night? Who would you turn to in a moment of crisis?
- Learning and growth: Who encourages you to try new things, to take chances, to pursue your life goals.
- Emotional closeness and confiding: Who knows everything (or most things) about you? Who can you call on when you’re feeling low and be honest with about how you’re feeling?
- Identity affirmation and shared experience: Is there someone in your life who has shared many experiences with you and who helps you strengthen your sense of who you are?
- Romantic intimacy: Do you feel satisfied with the amount of romantic intimacy in your life?
- Help (both informational and practical): Who do you turn to if you need some expertise or help solving a practical problem?
- Fun and relaxation: Who makes you laugh? Who do you call to see a movie or go on a road trip with who makes you feel connected and at ease?
Happiness vs. Joy
Attaining happiness is also often considered to be a main goal of all spiritual paths. It is a true heart based quality of being. Many people are blessed with happy hearts. But what of the state of being that we call joy?
Are happiness and joy different?
In November, 2005 I attended a conference in Scottsdale, Arizona. One of the principal speakers whose presentations I attended was Gary Zukav, who is the author of a series of bestselling books which offer new and intriguing explanations of spirituality and the soul. At the conference he spoke about happiness vs. joy as emotional states that relate to his favorite subject, which is authentic power.
Authentic power is a spiritual state of a more exalted human development. It has nothing to do with the kinds of earthly powers that human beings try to use to control other humans and the outcomes that humans are attached to.
In his books, such as The Seat of the Soul, he develops the concept of the alignment of personality with soul as foundational to the creation of authentic power. Creating authentic power is a highly personal endeavor that requires the development of emotional awareness, responsible choice, intuition, and trust in the Universe which he describes as being alive, wise, and compassionate. The creation of authentic power requires conscious choices that create consequences for which the chooser is willing to assume responsibility (responsible choice), while relying on emotional awareness and intuitive guidance.
Here are some of my notes from his conference comments, in bullet points:
- Deep meaning in life correlates with authentic power. The unfoldment of life becomes more deeply meaningful as we remove obstacles to the experience of authentic power.
- The main obstacle to remove is our fears, but even fears can be experienced as being deeply meaningful. We begin to see deeper meaning everywhere.
- We try to make ourselves happy by changing others. In setting ourselves up for such happiness, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
- Resistance comes from parts of our personality which do not feel joy.
- Happiness depends on changing external circumstances. Joy depends on changing internal circumstances.
- Happiness is staying in the comfort zone and having someone else approve of you. (He then said a somewhat quixotic statement, “I am not condemned to be permanently arrogant.”)
- Superiority and inferiority are both caused by powerlessness.
- We can only control what we do inside.
- Notice addictions as activities that we do to cover up some sort of pain.
- What if all of your experiences are designed to serve your spiritual growth?
Zukav then covered what he calls the Deep Meaning Barometer, which is presented here as a listing of the principal differences between Joy which he describes as a state of being, and Happiness which is described as an emotional experience.
As you read and contemplate the bullet point items in the 2 lists which follow, I think you will discern some things about your Deep Meaning Barometer setting. I believe that both joy and happiness are spiritual states. Joy seems to describe a perfected human state because it is a permanent state of being.
It is possible that you may think there is too much semantics in Zukav’s comparative analysis of happiness vs. joy, but I encourage your contemplation of the words and considerations posed below.
Happiness (Emotional Experience)
- Focus on outside
- Satisfy fears
- Must be created See fragmented parts (tragic/happy)
- Change others
- Temporary release from fears
- Dependent on external circumstances
- Indulge addiction
- Create external circumstances
- Experience of scenes on a stage
- Get what you want
- Universe blesses me
- Fleeting
- Avoid experiencing pain
- Exclusive (pain and stress avoided)
- Unconscious choices
- Circumstances need to be a certain way
- Trust while happy
Joy (a State of Being)
- Focus on inside
- Heal fears
- Always present
- See big picture
- Change yourself
- Permanently heal fears
- Independent of external circumstances
- Heal addiction
- Remove internal obstructions (fears)
- Experience of the theater
- Grow spiritually
- Universe blesses everyone
- Permanent
- Experience pain in order to heal it
- Inclusive (all experiences welcome)
- Conscious choices
- Life perfect every moment
- Trust Universe
Joy is a very high emotional state to attain, or to even attain a glimpse of. I have met a few people in my spiritual seeking travels who were close to some of the points Zukav lists in the Joy column.
It is easier to experience happiness, even if we drift in and out of it as we deal with the trials that life presents. And even the emotional state of happiness is difficult to stabilize in. However, this is the emotional state that we might try on first in our journey to a life more filled with joy.
I believe that being anchored in a state of joy is a matter of being highly blessed in a state of Grace. It is a supreme gift to be so blessed. Joy is a spiritual state of being, and to be in this state must be a wondrous way to live.
In referring to the happiness one experiences from sense pleasures vs. the joy one derives from inner spiritual attainment, one Indian sage said it simply enough, “Perfect joy, the unconditional bliss of the Self, can only spring independently from within.”…Baba Muktananda
While there is no exact formulaic approach to creating happiness, perhaps the contemplation and incremental practice of reaching for better feeling states will assist the development of happiness and serve as a bridge to the state of joy and authentic power which Gary Zukav encourages.
The Optimist’s Creed
In the 1990s I used to give a series of talks about health in Boulder County. One place I was invited to speak was the local chapter of Optimist International. The group gave me a placard with their creed.
I still gaze at the words on the placard, and pick up the words of a line to practice.
Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
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Things take time. We are aided along by abiding in our hearts with patience, trust, and love.
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream….merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.
Signing off from Crestone and Beyond.
Postscript…In speaking with some church goers today, I asked them what the lesson of today’s sermon was. Their reply reveals practices which are a good foundation to build happiness.
- Pray with intention
- Be vulnerable
- Be accountable
Associated Reading
- Authentic Power–Aligning Personality With Soul…posted here on August 16, 2023 is a 25 minute interview with Gary Zukav who discusses evolving from perception through our five senses to multisensory perception and the significant role our heart plays in this awakening. This interview was conducted by the people at the HeartMath Institute and is available on their website, along with all of their past interviews.
- The Seat of the Soul…by Gary Zukav, one of his many bestselling books. This 1989 book is transformative. In the realm of “new age” types of offerings, I think it offers the most meaningful definition of the spiritual path for us modern day people. Here is a quote from the chapter entitled Light…”Every decision that you make either moves you toward your personality, or toward your soul. Each decision that you make is an answer to the question, ‘How do you choose to learn love?’, ‘How do you chose to learn authentic empowerment–through doubt and fear, or through wisdom?’
- Power vs. Force, the Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior…the highly acclaimed classic written by David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. in 1995. This is a spiritual text about the Absolute Power from which all things come vs. the way humans use force to get what they want. Pages 68 and 69 present a chart of 17 emotional states. The state of joy is the third emotional state from the top of the list, and is described as a state of serenity and transfiguration. There are nine books in this series by Dr. Hawkins.
- The habits of happiness…in this 20 minute TED talk famed Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard, “the happiest man in the world,” explains the essence of consciousness, our mind, and happiness.
- Matthieu Ricard: Biography of the “Happiest Person in the World”…more on the life of this interesting man.
- What’s Happiness? (in 4 words)…my friend Mark Macy writes on in his Worlds Within Worlds series, this writing posted in August, 2020. His writing concludes with the 4 words…Be Kind, Be Pure.
- Adverse Childhood Events…a writing on this website about the childhood events that we have to heal along the way if we are to experience happiness and joy.
- There are 4 writings on this website, composed in 2017, which explain how the heart functions outside of its role of pumping blood around in our bodies. I think of these considerations as being important for living a happy and healthy life. There are many many people who live happy and healthy lives in our world who would never need to read such writings. They are the living examples of a glowing heart, and are close to that state of joy…1) The Pulse of Life, 2) The Spiral of Life, 3) The Prayer of Life, and 4) The Beginning of Life. The heart is the central organizing intelligence of our lives.
- Prayer…a writing on the website about prayer and what it is in our lives.
- Nature Genius…the wisdom of nature is the subject of this writing.
- Forgiveness…an article from the HeartMath Institute. “Forgiveness is a personal decision we have to make in the quietness of our heart.” The heart is the key to being able to forgive. We can’t do this with the thinking mind alone. Forgiveness is the only way we heal. Forgiveness is a true and sure path to happiness and joy.